SATANSJÄVLA!

Hej allihopa.

Har haft en dryg jävla dag. Hoppas morgondagen blir bättre. Vi hörs då. Godnatt.

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What happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?

It's my life, my own word I guess. Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for? Not the expression, no, litterally give an arm for? When they know they're your heart and you know you were their armour. And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her. But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you? And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you? What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made",
Dad's gotta go catch a plane.

"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy.
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself. I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself. Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her. And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her. That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy. Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby...

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling. And I didn't feel a thing, so baby don't feel my pain just smile back. And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling. And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain just smile back...

I keep having this dream, I'm pushing Hailie on the swing. She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing.
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more,
"Daddy you're lying, you always say that, you always say this is the last time. But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's pulling boxes in front of the door trying to block it.
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket. It's got a picture,
"this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it with you'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror. These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear them. They're saying
"You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight. Now go out there and show that you love them before it's too late. And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on and I'm singing...

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling. And I didn't feel a thing, so baby don't feel my pain just smile back. And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling. And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain just smile back...

Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat. The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet. I take a bow and thank you all for coming out. They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd. I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing.
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leaving. You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad. And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'. That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin. I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
But baby wait,

"it's too late Dad, you made the choice, now go out there and show them that you love them more than us. That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screaming your name. It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill, yeah, I bet you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, keep it real."
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see, how could it be, that the curtain is closing on me. I turn around, find a gun on the ground, caught it. Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it. The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes. That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringing, there's birds singing. It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to her and kiss her. Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling. And I didn't feel a thing, so baby don't feel my pain just smile back. And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling. And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain just smile back...


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Diktatur?

Har precis gjort geografiprov, det gick sådär. Tyckte inte att Berta hade förklarat tydligt vad exakt vi skulle kunna på provet. Jag blir förmodligen godkänd, men är irriterad eftersom jag kan SÅ mycket bättre.. Ska faktiskt prata med honom om det. Att jag vill att han är mer tydlig med vad vi ska plugga på osv. Aja. Nog om det. Har bara engelska kvar nu, sen slutar jag. Då ska jag .. hem till Nordkorea typ. Usch. Men ah.

Ska ta hem datakunskapsanteckningar, ska göra prov på måndag. Skitkul. Känner mig jävligt irriterad och arg. Kan tyvärr inte säga varför, får bara skit för det vet ni.. Tråkigt att man liksom inte ens för säga vad man känner utan att bli påhoppad och predikad om hur fel man har och att man inte har något rätt att säga något. Jävligt kul. Men som sagt, ska inte säga något. Jag får ju inte. Även fast jag lever i Sverige. Får inte yttra mig. Kanske ska läsa upp sveriges lag för er, så ni förstår innebörden med yttrandefrihet typ?

kommer förmodligen ångra att jag skrev det här. 

Aja, vi hörs.

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